Single and First Time Trying

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Re: Single and First Time Trying

Postby bluesky10 » Wed Mar 16, 2011 7:34 pm

What do you mean by no follical dropped?
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Re: Single and First Time Trying

Postby esg » Sat Mar 19, 2011 2:32 pm

Grace, I didn't experience negative comments regarding my situation personally (I didn't tell till I was already pregnant) but I have heard so many comments towards single moms in general. Besides procedure advice, I'd say to be strong in your own decision. If you have a few people that believe in you and support you then don't mind anyone else. They will only slow you down and cause you to doubt what it is you're working towards, your child. Decide whats more important to you: not facing people's opinions and not trying or having what you want and trying anyway. I wanted my son and so I went for him.

He's 5 weeks old now and I still haven't gotten negative comments. At least not to my face. I've actually been surprised by the people who openly accept my son and even those who have told me how much they wish they would have done the same.

You sound like you're happy to go it alone so I wish you luck in your next try!
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Re: Single and First Time Trying

Postby kwald64 » Sat Mar 19, 2011 3:50 pm

I am planning on keeping track of my cycle for several months before TTC. I hope that this will save me some time and money in the end and maybe I can get the time right thr first or second try. This is actually my first month keeping track. I am using the basal therm and have ovulation test strips as well. My temp has been about 97.66 for the last week and this morning it was 97.91 so i used a test strip. The second line is supposed to be the same color or darker than the first line. My second line was actually a tad lighter than the first line. But with the whole temp thing spiking I figured this was it. Im sure it will take me several months to understand my cycle but can anyone tell me what to read into all this. temp up but strip says not ovulating.

thanks
kristy
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Re: Single and First Time Trying

Postby bluesky10 » Sun Mar 20, 2011 10:15 am

You can chart and all that but depending wher eyou go chances are the docs will put you on med as well as trigger you to ovulate, thus figuring out your timing really wont matter as they will plan that all out.
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Re: Single and First Time Trying

Postby kwald64 » Mon Mar 21, 2011 11:00 am

I dont really plan at this point on seeing a fertility specialist. I have a child already and am choosing to do this on my own. I am going to use the donor and hope not to have any problems doing an ICI. I really cant afford use a fertility specialist or use the medicines. I'm hoping that by learning my cycle that I can track the best time to do this. since my son is almost 7 i obviously dont know if anything has changed with my fertility but i guess i'll see

thanks
kristy
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Re: Single and First Time Trying

Postby chelen2011 » Tue Apr 12, 2011 7:24 pm

I tried to get pregnant since August, 2010, and now I am 13 weeks pregnant. So far my test results are very good, I am 41 years old and will have my first baby when I am 42. I am very exciting. I have been thinking to be a single mother by choice for more than 2 years, and finally decide to go ahead. It wasn't easy, but I don't need easy and just need possible. So far I have support from all my family and friends. In the begining my mom has concern about my decision, but after I talk to her how much I want to have my own baby, how much it means to me, she become one of most strong supportor on my decision. For my advice on which sperm bank is better, I highly recommend Cryogenic Lab. They have good quality sperm comparing to Fairfax. I used two vial of IUI donor sperm from Fairfax, the sperm count was just around the minimal limit side, around 10 milion. But the IUI sperm vial I ordered from Cryogenic Lab was with very good quality, the sperm count was 17 to 25 milion. I got pregnant with the second vial of IUI donor sperm from Cryogenic lab. Hey ladies, if you want to be a mother, keep trying, you will have your dream become true. Financial stable and being able to support a family is important for being a single mother by choice. If you in the beginning thinking about to become a single mother by choice, I highly recommend you to read the book Single Mother by Choice writen by Jane Mattes.
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Re: Single and First Time Trying

Postby bluesky10 » Thu Apr 14, 2011 7:47 pm

Why would you need to pick a donor that has both the same blood type and RH factor? That dont make sense to me. Those that get preggo naturally dont consider that factor and I went with one that was opposit.
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Re: Single and First Time Trying

Postby bxcap » Tue Apr 19, 2011 2:02 pm

Hi,

I'm 29, currently single, and am planning on getting pregnant in March of 2012. A friend who bought sperm from another lab recommended Cryolab after my potential donor at another lab ran out of vials.

I was devastated at first, but am actually much happier with the donor I found on this site. I am obviously new to this process but today I ordered lifetime photos and sent my potential donor information to my parents and siblings. I want them to be a part of the process from the beginning. My next step is to see a doctor and assess my fertility. I'm (technically) still in my 20's so I'm hoping I can just purchase iui and have the process handled at my doctor's office. We'll see what my doctor says.

I actually don't have a primary physician yet but luckily I do have insurance so I am going to figure out who that will be over the next few weeks. My tentative timeline is to see a qualified doctor next week, get tested, and then purchase the vials by mid May at the latest. I will take my time choosing a primary doctor this year, but at least the vials will be purchased and ready for me to use when I'm ready in March of 2012.

It didn't even occur to me to see if any of this was covered by insurance. I am going to check on that later this week. I appreciate the person who brought that up in the forums and I'm glad this forum exists.

... My family is happy for me but also concerned, I can tell. My father is not happy AT ALL with the way I'm going about getting pregnant but he accepts me as I am. I am a bisexual/queer person so gaining acceptance on that took years -- I am not too worried about what anyone else thinks about the way I'm having a child.

The one thing I'm not thrilled about is going into this as a single person. I was in a LTR that ended about 5 months ago, but I am not going to let being single keep me from my dreams of being a mother. I am also going to be a foster parent. I know that eventually I'll be in another LTR and I just need to make sure that person is emotionally/financially/mentally capable of being a good parent before I get into anything with him/her.

I am a very blessed person with a good job and a support network, so I know I will be ok. I do appreciate this forum however because I am still very scared and even though I'm not doing this until March of 2012, it's still a lot to process.

I do have a lot of lingering questions but I figure my doctor will answer most of them and I'll also keep browsing this forum. Thanks for sharing your stories, it's really helpful to someone like me.
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Re: Single and First Time Trying

Postby sevenbrookie » Mon May 09, 2011 12:43 pm

I live in MN and would be interested in learning the name of the Dr. you used, if you are willing to share. I have never tried this before and could use all the help I can get!
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Re: Single and First Time Trying

Postby ambrok » Wed Jun 08, 2011 10:12 pm

Regarding other's opinions...I didn't say anything to anyone until I had made up my mind for sure that this is what I was going to do. I had thought about it for a long time. When I was 35, I went to my first appt regarding using sperm donor to become pregnant...I got info & worked hard to get my finances in order. Once I made up my mind, I told my closest sisters & friends. Most are just fine with it, some are most definitely more supportive than others. I have one sister that doesn't say anything when I talk about it...like maybe she doesn't approve; but doesn't say anything...IDK Another sister asked if I was 100% sure about this...I just laughed & said of course not; but I'm 99% sure :) She then wished me the best of luck. I was talking to one guy from an online dating site when the kid conversation began...I explained my story & he proceeded to tell me how selfish I was to have a child this way & w/o a father. Obviously we didn't date after that! LOL I was thinking...OK, I put so much thought-n-effect into this. I'm making sure to pick a doner w/ ID Option so the child can find out more info once they are 18, I spent yrs paying down my mortgage so I could refi & than afford day care cost, etc. I'm ready-n-willing to give up my carefree livestyle to become a parent...for life! And I'm selfish??? I don't think so! And how many dead beat parents are out there? I'm not making excuses; but I have a niece/nephews whose father was never there & never help financially...ever & they turned out just fine. What about orphaned kids...are they damaged goods too??? I think as long as a child has at least one person that is truely in that childs life - they will be fine. No one's life is perfect. I do feel guilty about a child not having a father; but I 'make' that happen.

Here's my take: I'm not advertising that I'm doing this; but I not hiding it either. When someone finds out, I'm a strong person & will listen to their concerns/questions; but I will not be put down because of this. If they are giving me nothing but grief, I will inform them that unless they are going to be supportive, they need to be quiet about this topic. I'm a grown women, I've sacrificed to be able to afford a child on my own, I'm not doing this to snub males at all....I just haven't found one, yet! Most think i'm crazy & I'd agree with that a little bit. LOL When dating, I don't mention what I'm doing until they bring up the kid conversation...some run, so are intriqued, some are perfectly fine with it. I do, however, think it's funny how some men are OK dating women that have children; but are freaked out if you are trying to conceive w/ a donor...I just don't get it?!?

If you are truly ready to do this...I think you also need to be willing to face the tough questions from others while holding your head high. I look at it this way, when I do have a child....I will not be ashamed of them, so why would I be shamed by the process of having them?!? I would never allow someone to treat my child as 'less than' because they were brought into this world with the help of a donor.

The only question I haven't been able to answer is how will I explain all of this to the child some day & my response is this...how do you explain why a deadbeatmom/ dad never sees their kids, how do you explain things to an adopted child, etc??? No one has the perfect answer; but I plan on going to see a counselor when the time comes to get more ideas on how to address this. There is no perfect life; but we all do the best we can.

Hope this helps....
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