Single and Trying

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Single and Trying

Postby kamuba23 » Tue Sep 14, 2010 1:59 pm

I tried twice with IUI and both were unsuccessful. I am single, professional, truning 35 in about two weeks and check out "perfect" reproductively speaking. Any thoughts on when to turn to IVF versus continuing to try IUI? Or thoughts on changing donors and when? I'd love to hear feedback and experiences as single women and any success you may have had.
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Re: Single and Trying

Postby Care Bear » Fri Sep 17, 2010 3:13 pm

Last year I was getting ready to turn 34 and decided I wanted a family and so I looked into all my options. My insurance would cover up to 6 AI's and 3 IVF's and I've always been a straight to the point kind of person so I opted for IVF. I suppose it depends on your patience level on how long you are willing to try IUI's.

Like you, my reproductive organs are all fine but I don't have a significant other and I wasn't going to wait around for one neither. The doctor put two embryos back in and both embryos took resulting in boy/girl twins!!! I was very fortunate to have the outcome that I had. If you are a now person - I would recommend doing IVF. It's a lot of shots, but you get over the whole ordeal eventually. ;)

As far as the switching donors - I'm not sure on that. When I selected a donor, one of the things that I was looking for was to see if there had been a reported pregnancy so that I knew the sperm was "okay".
Care Bear
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Re: Single and Trying

Postby pequele » Fri Sep 17, 2010 7:23 pm

first off, how are you "doing" your iui? unmedicated, unmonitored? I say this only because my 1st cycle I did unmedicated, unmonitored, just poas (peed on a stick) to check for O, and did an iui. BFN! I then did cycle 2 with clomid because of a short luteal phase but unmonitored (no ultrasounds nor trigger) and just used the pee sticks (I am AWFUL with them!). BFP but ended with a blighted ovum. Cycle 3 I did the same thing but totally jumped the gun on my pee sticks and misread my surge (clomid can apparently do that!). So I gave up and said to heck with it, I'm doing a monitored cycle with a trigger (and clomid) a BFP and now my son will be 23 months tomorrow!

With ttc #2 I decided to go right to how I conceived my son and I got a BFP, but it ended in MC recently. Since a "falling out" with my RE over this round, I have decided to continue on with my OB instead for future cycles. While I COULD do a monitored cycle with trigger, it is a bit more difficult with them so I think I may try a round of just POAS again and see how that all goes!

I am now 37 so we would be about the same age with my #1.

When I first started my journey, I asked about "when do you switch donors" since I knew nothing about picking donors/buying vials, etc. My RE said they usually recommended 3 or 4 tries with a donor. I felt compelled to buy 3 vials with my donor originally. When cycle 2 worked then ended, I felt compelled to get more (I really liked him!) and it WORKED once so I wanted to be able to give him a little more of a chance and I ended up then buying 2 more vials for a total of 5 at the time. I think if I hadn't had a BFP on round 2 I may not have bought a few more vials. Did your donor have any reported pregnancies?

I'd certainly try another donor with reported pregnancies if you already tried 3 or 4 tries with this one and all BFNs before I even thought of moving to IVF!

good luck!
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Re: Single and Trying

Postby crystaleigh77 » Sun Sep 19, 2010 6:15 pm

I had my first natural cycle IUI earlier this month and it didn't work, in addition the clinic I was going to really didn't make me feel taken care of so I won't be going back. Because I'm going to be 33 in December, I'm going to a new place this week that does Natural IVF. I checked out fine for all my levels and though I knew it was a long shot for the IUI to take first time around, I was crushed when I got my period...especially since I didn't make it to my date for my pregnancy test. I'm glad you asked this question bc for single women it's seems hard to find someone to relate to and the "next month" reply is the last thing you want to hear...
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Re: Single and Trying

Postby clbbaby09 » Mon Sep 20, 2010 2:55 pm

I did natural cycles to conceive my little girl who is now 18 months. Just peed on a stick...worked the second month of trying. I was 39 when I concieved and turned 40 3 weeks after she was born. I'm now 41 and will be 42 when my second child is born. I did 2 months of natural IUI that did not work. The third month I did 50 mg of clomid unmonitored and am now 6 weeks pregnant. I'm not sure I would do the unmonitored route looking back. My hsg's were increasing more than 2 times every 2 days and I feared I was having twins which not sure how I could do twins with a 2 year old by myself. Best of luck.

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Re: Single and Trying

Postby Lizanne » Fri Sep 24, 2010 6:29 am

My advice would be to talk to your doctor and discuss options. It took me 11 tries to have my daughter with IUI. Each time we added more tests prior, then oral drugs, then shots and finally, when the timing was right, it happened. My insurance would not cover my IUI's since I was not married and I think the fertility clinic treated me a bit differently for that reason. Looking back, they probably should have switched me from, IUI to IVF, but it worked finally and I am so happy with my 3 1/2 year old daughter. As for changing donors, since it took 11 tries, I ended up using a total of 4 donors. After 4 tries, I moved onto a new donor. Good luck.
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Re: Single and Trying

Postby » Wed Oct 06, 2010 8:29 am

I think its important to make sure there are reported pregnancies for that donor. I purchased 4 vials when I was getting started and used one each month for the first thee months. I got pregnant on my third IUI. With the first IUI, my doctor put me on Clomid and did an Ultrasound to check follicles on cycle day 13. There was one so he gave me a shot of Ovidrel and I went back in two days to get IUI done. My second cyle, we did Clomid and Ultrasound on day 11 (due to schedule conflicts) and he gave me the shot to take home and told me to do the shot on day 14. I went back on day 17 for IUI and no luck. The successful cycle, I did Clomid, then ultrasound to check for follicles on day 11, shot on day 13, and IUI on day 15. SUCCESS! I think donor sperm quality is important but I also think timing is even more important. My doctor said there was only 40% motility in the vial that worked so I was worried. He also said that this time everything just "looked" perfect when he did the IUI.

Good luck to you all!!
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Re: Single and Trying

Postby Cathy in Ottawa » Thu Nov 04, 2010 11:44 am

I have a 21-month old daughter (conceived at age 41).

I was told that they don't recommend IUI over age 38, because the clock is ticking and your chances are simply better with IVF. Eliminates the haphazardness of the sperm finding the egg.

I was, however, doing IUI with Clomid in the waiting months between IVF attempts, but it actually delayed the IVF attempts. I got cysts twice which threw off my cycle.

If you can afford it, or if you want to have two babies ultimately, I'd get going to the IVF.

Cathy in Ottawa
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Joined: Thu Nov 04, 2010 11:38 am

Re: Single and Trying

Postby miel » Mon Nov 08, 2010 6:32 pm

I can imagine how discouraged you're feeling, but you're twelve years younger than I was when I conceived, so you probably aren't running out of time as quickly as you think. I used clomid, but no trigger and had two ultrasounds to make sure there really was a developing ovum. I ended up buying the most expensive pee stick (I can't remember the brand) to use right around when I thought I might be going to ovulate because I was getting really vague readings from the cheaper ones, and that one worked. I had one IUI right before ovulation and one right after (the next day) and my son is now almost 30 months old.

I got a really unfriendly response from one of the doctors at the clinic where I went and I didn't have the choice to switch clinics. I'm not sure if the doctor was trying to put me off until it was too late because he didn't think a single woman should have a child, or if he was just trying to get me to choose a more expensive opiton, but he was really discouraging. He wanted me to do a whole psychological evaluation in addition to all the physical tests because he wanted to know if I could handle the stress of being a single mother at my age (I was 44 when I started and 45 by the time I jumped through all his hoops). I refused the test, mostly because it was going to take six more months, and fortunately he quit. The next doctor looked at my chart, told me to order sperm and scheduled the insemination. It really helps to have support from your doctor.
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Re: Single and Trying

Postby ambrok » Tue Nov 16, 2010 9:59 pm

Ahhhhh....all these emotions this involves! LOL
37, single; but dating...just not waiting for Mr. Right anymore :) I can't tell you how relieved I've been since making this decision - I can take my time dating again & not feeling pressured or hearing that 'tick, tick, tick' in my head all the time. I was in my 20s when I decided that if no one was in my life, I'd have a child on my own when I was 30. Well, I was w/ my ex from I didn't think to do this on my own during that time! A few yrs to get my life/finances back in order after the breakup & here I am. I started looking into DI when I was 35-36 (getting info, saving $, etc).

I did OPK test for about 9 months; but all were negative. I tried basal temperature; but that was confusing & still didn't really look like I was ovulating. When I was ready (Aug 2010), I went to the Dr who gave me Clomid right away since I obviously wasn't ovulating on my own. Positive OPKs since :) I think the first 2 IUI's weren't timed right (looking back, I shouldn't have been so inpatient & figured out my true cycle first since being on Clomid). My 3rd IUI was timed just right (I think) & am on my 2 wk wait! I hope this is it; but also have my doubts. If this isn't a go, I'm thinking of doing a double IUI next time. Is this truely worth it? My ins doesn't cover donor sperm or IUI, so this will be a double whammy in the checkbook if/when I do a double IUI! I know it's not about the money, but I've always been one to try to be financially responsible & even moreso now that I'm trying for a baby. I don't want to be a single mom & have the added stress of debt.

I also question when I should try the IVF route rather than continuing to try IUIs?!? My Dr thinks that everything is fine on my end; but she's never done any tests on me??? How can she know? What's the most cost effective way to determine if everything is alright on my end?!?

Thanks for reading & good luck to all :)
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